Life

Life, Work

The Guilt of Walking Away.

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I have absolutely no regrets about moving forward in my life (see the last couple of posts or so), but I still have this guilt, as if I should feel bad about leaving a job I’ve been at for over a decade. As if it were always going to be the job I had with no intention of trying new things or following my heart or something. How silly is that? Yet, it’s still like this divorce of sorts, but more a liberation than a divorce…it’s divorcing a life I have known and admittedly not always found to be ideal or positive or life-affirming. That isn’t to say I regret the entire experience, rather it has helped me over time realize just what I need and want from my life.

Everyone goes through these things, I guess I just let my feelings get too much in the way, read too much into what people will do or say or watch me walk away with ill will and a “good riddance,” from their lips. I have done nothing to warrant such things, and nobody actually has (at this point), but still, it’s like you’re letting people down just for wanting something different than them in life, and you feel like you have to apologize for leaving or qualify your decision with a long explanation. Some people will always try to spin it to make you look bad or tell people you’re crazy or your feelings are invalid, or maybe they simply don’t believe/want to believe in you, etc.; sadly, I know of a few and to say their behavior disappoints me isn’t enough. (And not worth my energy, frankly.)

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Creative Writing, Design, Entertainment, Life

Letting Go and Moving On.

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So, a major step in my future plans happened this week: I submitted my Letter of Resignation at my current job, which happens to be the family business. I am starting 2013 anew with a new venture: my own business. *GASP* Why? How can someone just walk away from their family? Well, it’s not walking away forever, it’s not disloyalty, I will still be related to many of those with whom I’ve worked for over a decade now, but it’s time. I have spent too much time setting my own interests and needs aside to please others, and I realize it’ll never be enough and only burns a person out.

How selfish of me, right? How dare I decide I want to do something else with my life. Most people seem to be supportive, while others seem quick to judge me and everything I’ve ever done, as if they knew me all that well, as if I’ve never done anything for them or contributed anything of worth to the business. At least, that’s how I see it. (Maybe I’m wrong, but this is not the place to delve into further thoughts that benefit nobody.) I suppose it’s to be expected, people don’t think you’ll walk away from something that may very well be a lifetime commitment to them. It’s not like I am unwilling to be supportive or never plan to do anything for my family’s business again; quite on the contrary. But for me, my life is meant to be so much more than it is now, and in order to move forward, I have to let go, to free myself so I can achieve everything I have set out to do from here. They will be fine without me if they’re willing to stay the course, so I hope to see things continue into the future, for everyone’s benefit.

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Life, Social Media

To My Friends and Acquaintances Due East…

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Hey, friends (and acquaintances), and all those dealing with Hurricane Sandy right now. How’s it going? Yes, I know, it’s a bit uneasy out there right now. Please be safe, and know that the rest of the world is ready to help if you need us, even if we can only offer positive thoughts right now.

I send out a giant virtual hug with comforting thoughts of kittens (or your preferred cute, cuddly animal), chocolate and rainbows!

To those of us not directly affected by Sandy, remember, chances are someone you know will be dealing with this in some way, and in a major way, at that. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to pledge your help now (it’s applied to your phone bill). Check up on friends and loved ones, or have them do so when they can (by social media, text, or whatever is at the ready). We may need to be patient, but let’s lend a hand, because if we were in their situation, we’d appreciate the thoughts and support, too. 🙂

This is no small storm that people are going to be forgetting anytime soon, so while this may all sound cheesy and simplistic, I’m trying to get my thoughts across as best I can given the situation.

We are here for you, guys! Take care!

–With Love from the West Coast, and the Rest of the World. 

Creative Writing, Design, Life

Leaps of Faith (Whee!)

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Oh hey there, it’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Well (deep subject), I’m still juggling a whole bunch of stuff at the moment: helping put on an auction (see my previous post about Gloria’s Angels), plus the big screenplay rewrite (we’re on track to be done by year’s end, with casting to begin in early 2013), and just plain working at the ol’ jobby job. Plus, I have been mulling over and finally decided to take the plunge and strike out on my own, full-time, by starting my own freelance design/copywriting business. I’ve been dabbling in design more as a hobby with little projects here and there, and using my skills on the job for many years, but I want to give it my full focus now, while continuing to follow my various creative pursuits. Never a dull moment; I can’t imagine just doing any one thing forever; I’m a free spirit who wants to embrace as much as I can while I still can. It’s requiring a lot of leaps of faith, but I am at a point where I feel I can trust my abilities and believe in myself, knowing I will land on my feet.

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Life, Social Media

Do You Have Klout?

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So, I’m really hesitant to jump on all the social media bandwagons; granted, I was an early adopter of some passing fads – for example, before MySpace and Facebook, there was SixDegrees.com; remember it? Way ahead of its time, started to catch on, but ultimately fizzled, unfortunately (social media just hadn’t quite been born yet; this was in the late 90’s). Anyway, I’ve tried various ones over the years (very helpful when you’re a part of a reunion committee and trying to round up old classmates), given up on others; you can only be in so many places at once, so why not choose the meaningful ones with the most, well, “Klout?”

Fast forward (zooooooooooooooom): Last night, upon seeing a Facebook friend posting about Klout, which I’d heard of, but didn’t see any reason to jump on the bandwagon before (it’s still in Beta – but look at how long Gmail was in Beta, uh-huh), I finally decided to check it out. Basically, it links you and all your social networks, apps and services (the major ones, at least) to build up clout (how you influence people in your social circles and beyond), and it might not be for everyone, but it seems to be building up steam. I started linking up my accounts (well, the ones I still use; they have the option to link Last.fm, but I haven’t used that in YEARS, since I was still active on MySpace, around 2006-07), and hey, I’m doing better than average – as of today, a respectable score of 39! (Edit: Since they’ve updated their scoring system, it’s now a quite impressive 64!) Klout’s site says on average, people land at about 20 (100 being the highest you can reach, for super-mega influencers and celebs, such as Lady Gaga; the higher your Klout score, the harder it is to actually push that number higher). Granted, a lot of my social sharing is done strictly with friends, colleagues and acquaintances, so they can’t exactly pull out all my social dirt without asking. 😉

Anyone else reading this using the site? Why not check me out? Give me a hat tip (+K) as an expert on Mathnet while you’re at it; that seems to be my Internet Claim to Fame (although I need to work on updating that influence). It’s free, and you might be surprised how powerful, or potentially powerful you are among your friends. Hey, we’re in this life together, after all! 😀