Feelings, Life, Work

On Being Your Authentic Self

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(NOTE: I originally posted another version of this to my LinkedIn profile, but thought it would be a good post to share here as well – it’ll make sense once you read it.)

Hey, it’s been a LONG while! Just a quick thought today. Not that I share them often here! 🤔

I have been doing BIG brave things recently – applying for full-time jobs that offer more stability and professional development than a freelance career currently does (if you know, you know). I have years’ worth of experience and skills I know are valuable, even if I don’t have a formal college degree. It’s a tough market, job-wise, but I am pursuing opportunities I think would be beneficial for me and the companies that might want to hire me.

So, I’ve been carefully checking out companies whose values align with mine – places that truly care about their employees and the people they serve. I’ve been reading employer/employee reviews, seeing how these companies interact with the public, and so on. It’s helped me to identify places I could see myself working for many years if I’m the right fit. 🙏

And then I think, okay, but how would these companies see ME? If I’m checking them out, they’re also going to check my references and social media posts, etc, to get an idea of who I am too.

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

Should I go through every post I’ve ever made anywhere – maybe delete some of them? Or have I been honest, authentic, and human? (God knows I have been on this blog…go ahead and read some old posts if you’d like.) ✌️

I keep a fairly low profile on social media for the most part (if you know where to look, you can find me out there, although I don’t post on Twitter/X anymore – sorry not sorry, but it’s complete trash now). But, I do speak up about the issues and news that I care about. We can’t remain silent when others want to control what we think or how we live our lives. If we’re not out there speaking up, endorsing the candidates who best represent us, and occasionally clapping back at those who want to do harm and/or bully us, how does that make us look?

If we are bold enough to express ourselves, be real, maybe swear a little or say something snarky, at least we are showing we care enough to stand up and be seen and would do the same for others. 👋

So, maybe we might surprise people with a little spicy language and strong opinions (handled tactfully, of course), but if we genuinely care about the people around us, then we have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. And if a company can accept us as we are, along with seeing our potential to do a good job, well then all the better they took the time to give us a shot. 🙏

Be Yourself, But Don’t Be a Dick!

Not saying we want to be truly awful and careless out there, but to just be ourselves. And you know, by doing the right thing and acting on our best behavior in a professional setting. Maybe we’re not for everyone (especially my fellow neurospicies out there), but the right people will see and honor our spunk, our kindness, and desire to be the best we can be – in a way that can benefit everyone. In life, on the job, and everywhere in-between. 🙏

And as Wil Wheaton reminds us every year on July 29th, his birthday is what he calls “Don’t Be a Dick Day.” Something we can try to aim for every day. So, let’s try our best not to be, right? Nobody’s perfect, but as long as we’re willing to learn and grow, we’re all fighting the same good fight in this life.

Just be human, and just be unapologetically YOU. Your people and those who truly value you will appreciate, honor, and encourage you for it. To heck with the rest of ‘em. I know there are people who may not like me or agree with me, and I may feel the same about some of them too, and that’s okay. And I’m doing just fine living my life in an authentic, honest, and compassionate, way. ✌️

Disasters, Feelings, Life

COVID-19: The Long and Short of It

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I promised awhile back I would come back to to share my COVID-19 story, and how it still affects me today. This could take awhile.

In the Beginning: Burning Eyes, Scratchy Throat

First off, you may wonder “how do you know you even had it?” And that’s part of the frustration. I don’t know. But I do. COVID-19 wasn’t supposed to be in the United States back around November 2019-February 2020. Medical experts (ha) hadn’t confirmed any cases in the USA before then, but there was no way to really check. It was just flu season, right? Or seasonal allergies, or just a cold, nothing more.

Except, it seems it wasn’t.

The symptoms started just after a post-Christmas gathering. (This was late December 2019.)

My mom had symptoms first, within a couple days of said gathering. I was about a week behind her. Just after 2020 rolled in, I developed a series of maladies I’ve never had at the same time with any flu or virus. My eyes burned to the point I couldn’t keep them open. But not like allergies, more like pink eye. My throat burned like crazy too, usually a sure sign I’m about to catch a cold.

It didn’t stop there though, within a week, I also had a dry cough (no real phlegm, just really dry and with a throat tickle), a horrible headache. Body aches that no amount of aspirin or Aleve could fix. Chills and a fever that alternated between shivering/sweating, even with layers of blankets and a thick robe. Major fatigue, way more than usual for me (for starters: I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia). My bowels were…well, you can figure it out. No appetite, ear pressure and tinnitus.

Sure, it sounds like the flu, and I’ve had some doozies, but the flu usually works through in a matter of days and moves on.

These symptoms persisted for over a month, and I later relapsed about a month after that, with flare-ups in the months after (well, over a year now).

Where were we exposed to COVID-19? There’s a few possibilities, so it’s impossible to “contact trace” now and I’m not about to point fingers when we don’t know with 100% certainty. My state, Washington, was among the first to identify confirmed cases, so anything is possible. Let’s face it: It was likely already here and spreading before anyone knew.

Keep reading…

Read more →

Disasters, Feelings, Life

COVID-19: Have We Learned Nothing?

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I plan to elaborate on this later, given I’ve had many months to reflect on *GESTURES WILDLY*, but clearly, as I feared back in my previous post, we humans are our greatest enemy.

First off: STOP BEING SELFISH, PEOPLE.

It’s not just about you, it’s about the people around you. Your family, your friends, literally everyone you encounter in public, especially if you’re not wearing a mask or practicing social distancing.

COVID-19 is NOT a hoax, it’s not just going to magically go away. Even if you barely get sick or don’t get sick at all, don’t assume it’s done and over with for the rest of your life once the year is over and when restrictions finally lift for the longer term (yeah, that’s gonna take awhile).

How Do I Know This Shit Is Real? (And Why Doesn’t Everyone?)

Well, during a recent annual physical, I discussed with my doctor the persistent flu-like symptoms I had back in January and February (with relapses in the months since).

A handful of choice symptoms I experienced:

  • Burning eyes and throat
  • Dry cough
  • Tummy issues
  • Severe fatigue and brain fog (More than the usual for me)
  • Fever and chills (I’d wake up shivering and shaking in a cold sweat – but beyond a normal flu-like feeling)
  • Deep ear pain and pressure (Like my ears needed to pop, only they wouldn’t)
  • All-over muscle pain and headaches
  • Phantom sounds and smells (Loud ringing, buzzing, and the vague smell of something smoky in my nose)

    I could go on…

    He said what I was describing fit what some of his patients who tested tested positive for COVID-19 had. Only, nobody realized it was a major threat in the United States earlier this year, and nobody was testing or thought we needed to.

Hello? Is Antibody Out There?

My doctor agreed I should get an antibody test a couple of weeks ago (early November 2020) and it was negative (I should be glad, yet it doesn’t explain ongoing health issues that didn’t exist prior to my suspected infection).

Worth noting: COVID-19 antibody tests aren’t perfect as it is, plus it’s been so long since I’ve had active symptoms. I also couldn’t get tested when it might have mattered (nor did I have any reason to think I could have had this “mysterious virus” in January, nobody did). So, it’s hard to know who may or may not have had COVID-19 early on before the widespread outbreak, and many didn’t seek urgent medical attention at the time (I didn’t, but I did stay home and quarantine before that was even a thing – YOU’RE WELCOME).

These days, I wear a mask out in public and do my part to limit contact with others along with the rest of the forced isolation that’s wearing us all down right now.

Remember, the entire fucking planet is going through this, it’s not just you and me being inconvenienced.

We have to collectively look out for each other if we’re going to make it out of this. And no, life and the world in general will never be the same; we can’t and shouldn’t want to go back to how it was before this – clearly that’s why we’re in this mess to begin with. But maybe, just maybe we can actually learn something about being compassionate and responsible human beings so we can get on with whatever’s ahead of us.

Sadly, I can see that approximately half of the voters in the United States don’t think sensibly like this left-leaning Independent voter does, but I digress. Joe won, Don lost, snap out of your brainwashed state, GOP supporters, please, thankyouverymuch.

COVID-19 Is Not Your Average Cold or Flu Bug

I do plan to go deeper in another post on how COVID-19 felt for me and why I feel fortunate to have access to decent healthcare (something that’s out of reach for far too many people). Let me just say that “Long COVID” is a very real thing and for some, the damage may be irreversible and life-changing regardless of how serious or mild a case might be. I didn’t consider my case all that bad (more of a mild-to-medium experience, but naggingly so) – I’ve been sicker, but not with the combination of symptoms I experienced and not for many months after the fact. So, please take COVID-19 seriously.

Lastly, be thankful if you haven’t gotten sick, and especially if nobody you know has – these inconvenient lockdowns may bite the big one, but not doing so could have been so much worse (and may be worse yet, thanks to those ignoring or selfishly dismissing the situation).

2020 has been a real shit show, and it’s not over yet.

Disasters, Life, Social Media

Mankind’s Greatest Enemy…

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…is mankind. Needless to say, these are some crazy, unprecedented times we’re living in, and it’s up to us to figure this shit out. Not just a few of us, all of us as a collective.

God help us. Only it’s not up to God, it’s up to US.

Let’s make COVID-19 history. Not as something that destroys us (try as it might), but as something that reminds us what’s truly important in this life – not possessions, money, or fame. Not celebrity athletes, business tycoons, or entertainers. In case you’re not following me here – what’s important is our families, friends, neighbors, and fellow residents of Earth – regardless of what we believe, where we live, or who we vote for, we are a common group of people who are supposed to be sharing this space and time. And we must rely on and support each other to survive this bonkers test we’ve been thrown into. Slow it. Stop it. Whatever it takes, we must rise to this challenge.

Be well and take care of yourselves, all. Remember, we’re in this fight together, and it will define who and where we are as humans from this point forward.

Peace. Love. And God willing, good health.

Feelings, Life

What is a Family Legacy Worth?

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Okay, this is more of a free-written type post – haven’t done one in awhile because I’d buried some of my past thoughts in the past. But I have occasion to revisit them. Also, I like to speak metaphorically, it just breathes more logic into otherwise complex topics.

What is a Family Legacy?

Tell me though, anyone, what does a family legacy mean to you? Generations of building, growing, loving… How about when that legacy is also running a family-owned business? If that business is carefully cultivated and nurtured by those before you, and they entrust it to the next generation, and then over time, the next. Suddenly, it’s you who is tasked with carrying the torch for your family. (And maybe there are several of you.) You’ll show everyone you’re capable of keeping the boat upright while ensuring everyone aboard is doing their best to do the same. You treat others with respect and guide and empower them to make the right decisions as you weather the storms together.

The inevitable challenges arise, but you keep pushing, because it’s the right thing to do, and because you’re prepared for this moment – life prepares you for all of this, right? You’re brilliant, you’ve paid attention and paid your dues, so you’re surely as capable if not more capable than those before you. (Of course, this is why many family businesses fail, right…people die, or it falls into incapable hands and/or they sell out before it becomes an utter failure on their watch.)

Surviving the Storm

But what happens when greed, sloth, envy, wrath, and all those other deadly sins start to creep in? The foundation starts to crumble, the seas begin to toss and turn your ship. But you keep going, because it’s what those before you would want you to do – they made it work, after all. But then it becomes too much for some of the crew, they see trouble ahead, ride it out as best as they can, but know when it’s time to jump ship. It’s not that they want to, but it becomes necessary for their own survival and sanity.

I HAVE A LOT TO SAY – READ ON