Tag Archive for Healing

COVID-19: The Long and Short of It

I promised awhile back I would come back to to share my COVID-19 story, and how it still affects me today. This could take awhile.

In the Beginning: Burning Eyes, Scratchy Throat

First off, you may wonder “how do you know you even had it?” And that’s part of the frustration. I don’t know. But I do. COVID-19 wasn’t supposed to be in the United States back around November 2019-February 2020. Medical experts (ha) hadn’t confirmed any cases in the USA before then, but there was no way to really check. It was just flu season, right? Or seasonal allergies, or just a cold, nothing more.

Except, it seems it wasn’t.

The symptoms started just after a post-Christmas gathering. (This was late December 2019.)

My mom had symptoms first, within a couple days of said gathering. I was about a week behind her. Just after 2020 rolled in, I developed a series of maladies I’ve never had at the same time with any flu or virus. My eyes burned to the point I couldn’t keep them open. But not like allergies, more like pink eye. My throat burned like crazy too, usually a sure sign I’m about to catch a cold.

It didn’t stop there though, within a week, I also had a dry cough (no real phlegm, just really dry and with a throat tickle), a horrible headache. Body aches that no amount of aspirin or Aleve could fix. Chills and a fever that alternated between shivering/sweating, even with layers of blankets and a thick robe. Major fatigue, way more than usual for me (for starters: I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia). My bowels were…well, you can figure it out. No appetite, ear pressure and tinnitus.

Sure, it sounds like the flu, and I’ve had some doozies, but the flu usually works through in a matter of days and moves on.

These symptoms persisted for over a month, and I later relapsed about a month after that, with flare-ups in the months after (well, over a year now).

Where were we exposed to COVID-19? There’s a few possibilities, so it’s impossible to “contact trace” now and I’m not about to point fingers when we don’t know with 100% certainty. My state, Washington, was among the first to identify confirmed cases, so anything is possible. Let’s face it: It was likely already here and spreading before anyone knew.

Keep reading…

COVID-19: Have We Learned Nothing?

I plan to elaborate on this later, given I’ve had many months to reflect on *GESTURES WILDLY*, but clearly, as I feared back in my previous post, we humans are our greatest enemy.

First off: STOP BEING SELFISH, PEOPLE.

It’s not just about you, it’s about the people around you. Your family, your friends, literally everyone you encounter in public, especially if you’re not wearing a mask or practicing social distancing.

COVID-19 is NOT a hoax, it’s not just going to magically go away. Even if you barely get sick or don’t get sick at all, don’t assume it’s done and over with for the rest of your life once the year is over and when restrictions finally lift for the longer term (yeah, that’s gonna take awhile).

How Do I Know This Shit Is Real? (And Why Doesn’t Everyone?)

Well, during a recent annual physical, I discussed with my doctor the persistent flu-like symptoms I had back in January and February (with relapses in the months since).

A handful of choice symptoms I experienced:

  • Burning eyes and throat
  • Dry cough
  • Tummy issues
  • Severe fatigue and brain fog (More than the usual for me)
  • Fever and chills (I’d wake up shivering and shaking in a cold sweat – but beyond a normal flu-like feeling)
  • Deep ear pain and pressure (Like my ears needed to pop, only they wouldn’t)
  • All-over muscle pain and headaches
  • Phantom sounds and smells (Loud ringing, buzzing, and the vague smell of something smoky in my nose)

    I could go on…

    He said what I was describing fit what some of his patients who tested tested positive for COVID-19 had. Only, nobody realized it was a major threat in the United States earlier this year, and nobody was testing or thought we needed to.

Hello? Is Antibody Out There?

My doctor agreed I should get an antibody test a couple of weeks ago (early November 2020) and it was negative (I should be glad, yet it doesn’t explain ongoing health issues that didn’t exist prior to my suspected infection).

Worth noting: COVID-19 antibody tests aren’t perfect as it is, plus it’s been so long since I’ve had active symptoms. I also couldn’t get tested when it might have mattered (nor did I have any reason to think I could have had this “mysterious virus” in January, nobody did). So, it’s hard to know who may or may not have had COVID-19 early on before the widespread outbreak, and many didn’t seek urgent medical attention at the time (I didn’t, but I did stay home and quarantine before that was even a thing – YOU’RE WELCOME).

These days, I wear a mask out in public and do my part to limit contact with others along with the rest of the forced isolation that’s wearing us all down right now.

Remember, the entire fucking planet is going through this, it’s not just you and me being inconvenienced.

We have to collectively look out for each other if we’re going to make it out of this. And no, life and the world in general will never be the same; we can’t and shouldn’t want to go back to how it was before this – clearly that’s why we’re in this mess to begin with. But maybe, just maybe we can actually learn something about being compassionate and responsible human beings so we can get on with whatever’s ahead of us.

Sadly, I can see that approximately half of the voters in the United States don’t think sensibly like this left-leaning Independent voter does, but I digress. Joe won, Don lost, snap out of your brainwashed state, GOP supporters, please, thankyouverymuch.

COVID-19 Is Not Your Average Cold or Flu Bug

I do plan to go deeper in another post on how COVID-19 felt for me and why I feel fortunate to have access to decent healthcare (something that’s out of reach for far too many people). Let me just say that “Long COVID” is a very real thing and for some, the damage may be irreversible and life-changing regardless of how serious or mild a case might be. I didn’t consider my case all that bad (more of a mild-to-medium experience, but naggingly so) – I’ve been sicker, but not with the combination of symptoms I experienced and not for many months after the fact. So, please take COVID-19 seriously.

Lastly, be thankful if you haven’t gotten sick, and especially if nobody you know has – these inconvenient lockdowns may bite the big one, but not doing so could have been so much worse (and may be worse yet, thanks to those ignoring or selfishly dismissing the situation).

2020 has been a real shit show, and it’s not over yet.

Month One, Complete.

Well, how quickly the time flies, the end of January already? That means my first month in this new adventure of being self-employed is wrapping up. 2012 ended with feelings of guilt and a bit of anxiety, 2013 starting with the next phase of sorts: emptiness. The first couple of weeks I felt so empty, that vessel-full of frustration and futility suddenly giving way to a new, fresh slate. It was weird…I just felt nothing for a time, it’s like a mourning process, I guess: guilt, anxiety, emptiness, and now acceptance and the slow adjustment of my new life. I don’t regret it, though, because I am seeing life has put me where I need to be when I need to be, and I’m keeping busy with projects. Motivation comes in waves, inspiration pops up at rather interesting times, and coffee has become a dear friend, which leads to burning a lot of midnight oil these days. I do need to work on that, trying to keep a normal person’s sleeping schedule. I’ve had to kick my ass a bit, tell myself to “snap out of it” and get into this new groove, but as the weeks have passed, it’s getting easier.

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